Doppelganger spotted in London!
Many people go their whole lives without finding their doppelganger, but not me. By chance last weekend I picked up a New York Times and flipped to the Business section. There, staring back at me, was this!
I’ve been so absent-minded lately, that I thought it may actually be me. Did I go to London last week to protest? That would explain the hangover. If it wasn’t me, who was this socialist protester, this anti-Nate that had surfaced? I mean, I know I’m part British, but I didn’t realize it was that big a part.
Then I had this fantasy that I was, come nightfall, some type of socialist secret agent, something straight out of the Cold War, leading an underground movement to topple world governments. Then I realized: that would be an awesome idea for a TV show. I could get somebody handsome, maybe a bit dark - like Christian Slater - to play me. As usual, somebody stole my idea.
read onI need a bailout for my Beemer
Secretary Paulson and Chairman Bernanke, are you listening? Here’s the thing: I need a bailout for my BMW. You see, when I bought it, the price was high, but the economy was good. I got a good interest rate, and the money worked. But now the price of my BMW has - (gasp!) - gone down! This means I’m going to lose money! This is simply not acceptable.
Nevermind the fact that, when things were good, I yelled from the rooftops that government needed to stay out of my business! Less regulation! Less oversight! Leave me alone, I’ve got everything under control, and you’re just getting in the way.
But assets aren’t supposed to go down! That’s completely crazy. I know, I know, “what goes up, must come down,” but the idiot that came up with that phrase obviously wasn’t schooled in modern portfolio theory or Keynesian economics. After all, we live in an advanced, New Era economy, where the Federal Reserve can create money and credit to ensure we not only have the things we need, but every possible thing we want or think we want too.
So when I heard about the $700 billion you’re offering, I’d like to
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